Golf is probably the sport where business is discussed on a regular basis and is often considered an extension of the workplace. In many industries, deals are made on the fairways. Whether you play golf or not, there are parallels that can be found with behaviour on the course and at work. Here is one example.

I was playing golf last night with a group of friends and one comment made me take notice. On the 18th hole, as we were approaching the green, one of the guys made a comment about a great shot made by another golfer in our four-some. The ball traveled a good distance and the comment was that he “hit it like Ike.”

Innocently I wondered what that saying meant and then it suddenly occurred to me! I turned to him and said incredulously, “You don’t mean Ike Turner!” He had this sheepish and rather embarrassed look on his face, and with a nervous laugh said, “yeah, but it’s just a saying.”

I’d never heard this saying before and I was rather surprised since the guy is only in his 20s. I didn’t expect him to even be aware of the violent and criminal abuse by Ike Turner against his former wife Tina Turner and other women.

My golfing friend is a very nice fellow, so I wasn’t going to rip his head off, but I was curious to know how prevalent this saying was. Actually it didn’t take much prodding because he wanted to spill the beans as much as possible to let me know that all kinds of people “his age” use this term and that it was just a part of “pop culture.” He said he didn’t mean anything by it. I suggested that he never use that term again and that he challenge his friends who continue to use it.

As we made our way to the 19th hole I reflected on some of the other comments that I had previously heard, and continue to do so. The game of golf is notoriously sexist, and while I challenge a few things, I let many comments go by without saying a word.

There are those who say the word golf came from “Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden” and even if this is just folklore, there are signs of it everywhere. Just in yesterday’s game alone I can give you a few examples.

At the beginning of the game, the pace was a bit slow and since we had women ahead of us, there was the occasional comment about the women being to blame. I said nothing even though I know the stereotype of women being slow golfers is ridiculous. And when we started to slow down and the women were well ahead of us, interestingly enough there was no mention from any in our group that our gender was the cause of us slowing down.

When one of our foursome hit a putt that was way too light, two in the group commented that his “purse got in the way.” I said nothing. The basis of this well-used saying stems from the attitude that women are weak, and if you hit it like a wimp then you must have feminine qualities.

When I completely flubbed one of my shots off the tee and it dribbled a few yards in front of us, I was told to take my pants down since it didn’t make it as far as the “ladies tee box” (the tee box closest to the hole). Again I said nothing. I first heard this expression on the golf course when I was about 15, so it’s probably been around forever.

Once again, the logic behind the saying is that if I can’t hit it as far as the “ladies tee” then I’m a weakling and thus must be a woman. The only way to prove I’m a “man” is for me to drop my pants.

Are these sayings harmless? I don’t know. But language is powerful and if we repeat something enough times, it not only sticks, but it sanctions sexist and other discriminatory language. If we think about language in our workplace, similar comments and sayings likely abound as well. Here are some suggestions for addressing the subtle and seemingly humorous comments that often go unchallenged:

·You’re not alone. If you want to challenge a sexist comment, don’t think that just because no one else has spoken up that everyone agrees with it. I find other people feel the same reluctance and are relieved when another person speaks up.

·You can educate. Even if you are the only one, let others know exactly what is wrong with a seemingly simple comment or joke. Let them know the impact it has on you or others. Most people are reasonable and once they recognize the origins of the potential harm, they’ll find other ways of making jokes.

·There is no one way. Don’t feel every confrontation has to be a lecture. Simple responses are often effective. For example, when you ask someone to repeat what they just said, it often takes the cuteness and humour out of the comment and then the person who made the comment will do all the back tracking and explaining so that you don’t have to. Giving light or humorous comments back can also get your point across. Do what works for you to let others know that you don’t share their sentiments.

·Be an ally. If women are on the receiving end of sexist comments, many women tell me they don’t want to be seen as whiners or complainers. If one of the guys speaks up to challenge a comment, he can’t be accused of having a chip on his shoulder, so it might hold more weight. It shouldn’t, but it does.

You still want to be accepted at work and thus will choose to pick your battles. And because I want to be invited back to play golf, I’m not going to challenge every inappropriate comment. However, on or off the course, words make a huge difference and we don’t have to wait for the big blunders. We can do a lot just by challenging simple, daily comments that people make. Next time I’ll speak up at the golf course and see if I make any progress. If not, hopefully the women will let me play with them.

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