Email is the worst…yet email is the best. I love getting all kinds of things done via email. And since my handwriting is awful (I blame my school’s grade 3 curriculum…still waiting for a reply from them) it’s so much better to type. But things go wrong with emails…very wrong. In this instance, you’ve got a person who comes across as rude, or almost rude via emails, yet is considerate in person. You’ve either got a two-faced person, or someone who just needs some email etiquette.
TRY THIS:
Talk to this person in person. If it’s a long distance “thing” then the phone will work as a second best. Try to establish if there’s something wrong. If the person says, “no” then go through aspects of the email that you are taking as (inappropriate, mad, upset, terse or whatever it is). If the person isn’t intending any of that, talk about how it comes across. Perhaps some email tips will help, such as letting the person know that CAPITAL LETTERS IS OFTEN INTERPRETED AS SHOUTING (unless the person types everything in caps as some do). If it’s a misunderstanding, you’re doing this person a favour because you might not be the only one with concerns.
HOW ABOUT:
“Now that we’ve established that you’re not upset with me, or have any issues, can I be so bold as to suggest some ways to come across like the reasonable person I know you to be? When you write “xyz” or use CAPS or exclamation marks, I interpret that differently than what you’ve just explained to me. You might want to consider changing just a bit of your writing style. The other thing is that sometimes we quickly send something before we’ve read it over. I always read mine over before sending and find a change of one word or another makes all the difference. Only when I re-read it did I see how it could have a different meaning.”
When tomorrow comes, hopefully the person has come to realize the complaint must come to a close…for everyone’s sake. If not, then you have to say, “I can’t have you disrupting the workplace any further with this. You need to move on, or we need to talk about alternatives to working here. I do not want that, so please, let’s find a way to move past this.”
Stephen Hammond, B.A., J.D., CSP
If you have any questions, please contact Stephen
