Stephen Hammond's
Tip #9 — KEEP UP WITH CHANGING LANGUAGE
Language is fluid and the best way we can be sure we are using updated language is to listen to words people use to describe themselves.
In Canada, the word Indigenous is a blanket term to describe First Nations, Métis and Inuit. And yet, we will find many pieces of legislation making reference to Canadian Indians, Natives and Aboriginals; words that were used in years past. No one is going to have a heart attack if I use terminology that is not completely up to date, but if someone corrects me on updated language, I listen and adjust.
It’s always interesting to consider how preferred language changes. In the States, no one in touch would use the word “negro” to describe an African American, but the United Negro College Fund is one of the largest charitable organizations in the United States. Not wanting to abandon all of their heritage, but in keeping with the times, they now refer to themselves as UNCF. Language may be complex, but it doesn’t have to be if we come from a place of understanding as opposed to trying to “catch” someone.
Take the disputes going on over gender specific terminology. If a person doesn’t want to be referred to as “he” or “she,” this person may ask you to refer to them as “they.” “Ze,” “hir” or “zir” are also terms to keep gender specific language neutral. However, you won’t find these pronouns used by most people, either because most people aren’t yet familiar with them, no one has asked them to use these new words, or people flat out refuse to use them. On some Canadian campuses, issues surrounding these words are raging.
Don’t feel bad if you’re not certain what language to use. I haven’t felt comfortable to use “they” or “ze” in everyday language, but I’m very respectful when someone asks me to use these pronouns or I pick up the usage from just listening. It doesn’t take a lot of thought and I find when I slip-up, a quick reminder is what I get (never a lecture or anger).
However, when I’m writing, I find it’s relatively easy to stay away from “him” and “her” unless I’m referring to a legal case or media example where I’m referring to a person who does identify as male or female. I just change from singular to plural where I can write, for example, “If people at work stay away from sexual harassment, they won’t run into trouble…” I wrote two books before this was common and yet when I wrote my third book, it was an easy transition to make. I just found a simple way to change with the times.
Because there are so many words in the dictionary, I find it easy to keep up with changing terminology. If we just think changing language is about “political correctness” go back about 500 years and see if we’d insist on using the same language as was used back then. When language changed over the centuries, it wasn’t for “political correctness.” It was just change.
SUPERVISORY SUGGESTIONS:
Be respectful of enquiries - if you or someone else at work asks another person why they don't like a certain word, or someone speaks up, saying they don't like a certain word, there are two ways of responding. One is to play it down or dismiss the importance of it. The other is to listen, try to understand, and then change the wording in the future. It's not that big a deal to change terminology, but it's a huge deal to the person who is affected.
Deal with someone complaining this is only "political correctness" - invariably there is someone who isn't willing to change - even in the face of outrageous words. Any suggestions to use different words are met with "this is politically correct b.s!" Sometimes that's enough to shut others down because this person is a bit (or a lot) of a bully. Don't let someone's insistence get in the way of wording that keeps your workplace respectful. Perhaps a correct response can be, "You may think this is about being politically correct; I still don't want to hear anyone using that inappropriate word."
You don't need all the answers – because sometimes people are sincerely perplexed about which words are appropriate. After all, if language is fluid, then there are plenty of times when words are overlapping and we are learning. As a supervisor, you don't have to know everything. If you don't know, just ask.
Tip #10 — FINDING THE RIGHT BALANCE
I hear more than ever, that people think you can’t say anything at work, for fear of being disciplined. Or some people feel that everyone is so “sensitive” these days that it’s best to stick to work issues and stay away from anything personal.
I think there’s some truth to this. There are so many words or issues that have negatively affected some Canadians, that they’re not willing to put up with words, comments or jokes they consider to be inappropriate. Problem is, not everyone has been educated to know when their words, comments or jokes are in fact inappropriate. That won’t let everyone off the hook, but it reminds me that everything is about “communication.” When we talk things out, there’s much better understanding.
Harassment prevention isn't about sterilizing the workplace. It's about eliminating words or actions that are disrespectful. Don't worry; there are plenty of words, jokes and actions left over to smile and laugh about.
I suggest having a short discussion at work about language. You can start by getting people to discuss and write down words they like, don't like or are uncertain about. Or you can come up with some of them from your recent observations. You might start noticing how men refer to women (and even how women refer to men). Or you might notice certain words that are, or might be offensive. When you present these words to your group, at first, don't be definitive about them - in other words, don't put them into your categories of "good," "bad" or otherwise. Start out by establishing the rules at the beginning that everyone gets to speak their minds and then you'll get honest responses.
However, with this process you can't just go with a vote, allowing for "majority rules" since that allows majorities to impose their will over minorities. As well, the intimidation factor can be huge, where even adults don’t want to “rock the boat,” by going against the wishes of the group. So have some discussion about certain words and then talk about the impact they may have on some people. Most people, when given the chance to be thoughtful, will in fact be thoughtful. Hence, many times, someone will say something like "my daughter told me...." or "my friend is Indo-Canadian and I've heard..." It's difficult to argue with the truth people tell, so often it allows people to change their behaviour.
At the end of the day, you may have to put limits on certain words or terminologies. Even if people don't have any problem with a word that you know is, or could be a problem, you'll have to let them know it's not acceptable. In other words, there are times your group can come to an understanding, and there are other times the boss has to make a decision people may not be happy with. That's true of other workplace decisions anyway, so it's not bizarre. The buck stops with you, and if you need an excuse, remind employees that the employer will ultimately be liable for the actions of its employees and hence the employer can't take the risk. It's a form of risk management and you are a supervisor/manager.
SUPERVISORY SUGGESTIONS:
Be upfront - because they're going to figure it out within minutes. You can start with something like, "I went to a presentation about workplace harassment and I learned a few things I want to discuss with you." Or, "I've been thinking about some of the language in our workplace and I want to talk about it."
Set guidelines before the discussion starts - and they don't have to be extensive. You can say you want an open and honest, yet respectful conversation. Everyone gets to be heard and truly listened to. People don't have to speak up if they don't want to, but they are encouraged to say what they want. Make it quick and then remind everyone of these guidelines when the discussion gets going.
Don't get formal. - Once the conversation is over, don't have people sign a piece of paper pledging their allegiance to the new congeniality. However, I'd suggest you ask for a show of hands or just nods that people will agree to abide by the outcomes you've discussed. It's about moral persuasion. I wouldn't discipline someone who breaches the agreement right away, but if it persists, you will want to decide if there is some action that needs to be taken.
These are TIPS 9 & 10 of 26 BI-WEEKLY TIPS for managers and supervisors.
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