The NEW NORM
Chapter one
THE NEW NORM DOESN’T LET HIS LIBIDO GET IN THE WAY OF HIS WORK
When Hewlett-Packard CEO Mark Hurd resigned from one of the largest companies in the world in 2010, because of an inappropriate working relationship with consultant and reality TV actress Jodie Fisher, you’d think an emergency memo would have been sent throughout the world of CEOs and their boards of directors.
The memo would have warned that even though a person is making a fortune (Hurd made $24 million the year prior), is at the top of his game in terms of corporate power and prestige (Fortune Magazine listed Hurd as one of the 25 Most Powerful People in Business) and is considered very intelligent to get to this kind of position, his libido just might sink everything.
Who didn’t get the memo?
Brian Dunn started in sales with electronics retail giant Best Buy in 1985 and climbed all the way up to chief executive officer in 2009. However, in April, 2012 he resigned after the company began an investigation into allegations Dunn was having some sort of personal relationship with a younger female employee. Thirteen months later, the audit committee of Best Buy’s board of directors made public the findings of their report.
The committee determined Dunn “violated Company policy by engaging in an extremely close personal relationship with a female employee that negatively impacted the work environment.” The extensive investigation noted how often Dunn, fifty-one, and the employee, twenty-nine, would call, text and send pictures and videos to one another.
The woman’s supervisor said this employee was not very quiet about her friendship with the former CEO, and that made it “difficult” to manage her. In the end, Dunn was given a good-bye package of more than $6.6 million.
But it didn’t stop there. In the same press briefing of the findings of the audit committee’s report, the board announced that in a few short months, Best Buy’s founder, Richard Schulze, would no longer be chairman of the board.
Turns out, Schulze found out about Dunn’s “friendship,” but he neglected to inform the rest of the board of directors. It must have been strange for Schulze to be kicked out of the multi-billion-dollar electronics company he started, when in 1966 he mortgaged his home in Saint Paul, Minnesota to open his first store. All this, just because of not reporting what the company considered to be an inappropriate relationship between its CEO and another employee.
Schulze made an attempt to buy the company back, hoping to do pretty much whatever he wanted with his company. That attempt failed when he couldn’t get the financing, even though Forbes Magazine reported his net worth to be more than $2.5 billion. At last report, Schulze was in the process of selling much of his stake in the company he founded.
Perhaps if Mr. Hurd, Mr. Dunn and Mr. Schulze had taken my Respectful Workplace online course, they could have avoided a humiliating departure due to their sexual relationships at work.
Now if you think the memo should be read only by CEOs of big American companies, let’s bring it down to (relatively) sleepy Victoria, B.C. (where I live). As I was writing this book, news broke in December, 2015 that our police chief, Frank Elsner, exchanged inappropriate direct tweets with a female police officer of a neighbouring municipality. Turns out the female police officer is married to a male police officer working in Victoria, under the command of Elsner.
Elsner is widely quoted saying, “I’m humiliated beyond words, I’m ashamed of my actions, I’m better than that. I know better than that.” While an expensive investigation revealed there was no physical relationship (just the exchanges), that didn’t appease the police. Days after the story broke, his police force unanimously supported a motion saying they had lost confidence in their chief (about half the force turned up to the meeting). Elsner eventually stepped down, but not until investigations, costing likely millions, took place.
And just like the Best Buy debacle, the controversy didn’t stop with the chief’s actions. Turns out the co-chairs of the Police Board, Victoria Mayor Lisa Helps and Esquimalt Mayor Barb Desjardins, weren’t forthcoming about the investigation. In particular Mayor Desjardins was quoted several times denying any investigation had taken place, but of course she had to retract that when some of the information became public.
These are just some examples where people at very high levels of their workplace didn’t get the memo telling them to be careful of their libido when it comes to workplace relationships.
The OLD NORM
- has no issues with romantic or sexual liaisons at work.
- figures, “Since many people meet at work, what’s the problem?”
- believes adults at work can figure out for themselves when and if they want to get together.
- won’t let silly workplace rules get in the way of love…or lust when an employee knows it’s right.
The NEW NORM
- realizes workplace romances can add complexity to any workplace.
- is cautious and considerate if there are feelings and suspicions of a mutual attraction.
- knows that employees at more senior positions can have undue influence on other employees.
- isn’t willing to throw away a career or the career of another person just because of some sexual or romantic excitement.
Suggestions for the New Norm:
01
Understand the power of sex and sexual desires. We’re all sexual creatures and most people have some vulnerability when it comes to a sexual attraction. When you’re in a position of power (from front line supervisor to CEO), you can’t let your libido, or sexual urges, get in the way.
02
If love will conquer all, then plan accordingly. If there’s a mutual attraction to someone at work, that shouldn’t automatically mean the end of anyone’s career. Many people meet and end up in lifelong relationships with people they meet at work. What you want to avoid is a conflict of interest, where you have power and influence over someone you supervise. If you’re in love, talk to someone who can be objective and who can help you work out a plan to change the working relationship.
03
Don’t let the cover-up become bigger than the relationship. So often, the real scandal isn’t that two people got together at work. It’s that there was something underhanded involved or some grand scheme to cover up their actions. Be up-front with any relationship or potential relationship with people in or around your workplace. Employees may gossip, but it won’t be because you did something bone-headed to cover up your potential relationship.
This chapter gives you just a few examples of people in authority getting in trouble due to workplace sexual relationships.
For more examples where power might go to someone’s head, consider reading
Chapter 3: The New Norm doesn’t let power go to his head.
Purchase a copy of The New Norm, or if you think all your supervisors and managers, could learn many valuable lessons about creating a respectful workplace, free of harassment, bullying and discrimination, you can get volume discounts.
What one reader has to say about Stephen’s book, The New Norm
“Stephen’s book is a brilliant reminder of workplace situations that are disturbing, yet slip by unaddressed by so many in both the private and public sector. When these behaviours are unaddressed, they become the norm because we allow them to be.
Just like his first book, Stephen is insightful, his writing is moving and he inspires his readers to take immediate action to disapprove of, and address harassment and other inappropriate behaviour every time we see it, feel it and hear about it. In a concise format, he gives us a series of snapshots of old vs. new, acceptable vs. unacceptable, right vs. wrong, in a way that is understandable.
If workplace leaders take just some of Stephen’s practical advice, they will go a long way to rid their workplace of unacceptable behaviours such as harassment, discrimination and bullying. It’s clear that to create Stephen’s “New Norm,” we need to ACT NOW! We can’t wait any longer.”
Tatjana Zatezalo
Manager, Organizational Development, Halifax Regional Municipality
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Stephen Hammond is a lawyer turned speaker and consultant in the field of harassment, sexual harassment, bullying, discrimination, diversity and inclusion at work.
The New Norm is Stephen’s third book.
