The NEW NORM

When Giovanni Strizzi phoned his boss – one of the owning partners of Curzon Carlingwood Clubs – to inform him of a substantial price hike on his flying to a monthly meeting in Toronto (because his usual airline had just gone bankrupt), the boss let him have it. John Cardillo started hurling every kind of insult and accusation at Strizzi, who was general manager of one of their fitness clubs in Ottawa.

This wasn’t the first time Strizzi had suffered abuse from Cardillo, but this time the general manager realized he could no longer work for his boss. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, considering he and his expectant wife had just bought a house. But he quit and sued the company for constructive dismissal.

(Constructive dismissal is sort of the flip side of wrongful dismissal. In this case, Strizzi argued that Cardillo made his work life so difficult, he had no real choice but to leave, and yet the company must pay him notice.) 

While it took a staggering eight years to get a legal judgment in favour of Strizzi, the judge called Cardillo a “bully.” He also said Strizzi had every right to leave his job with virtually no notice.

The Ontario court judge wrote, “Cardillo's behaviour during the opening few minutes of the…telephone conversation brought home to Strizzi the impossibility of his continuing to work in an environment where his employer yelled at him, called him all kinds of names, falsely accused him of ruining his business, refused to have a dialogue or engage in reasonable, civil conversation, told him repeatedly how useless he was, made threats and generally treated Strizzi in a way that no employee should be subjected to.”

As a result, the company was ordered to pay Giovanni Strizzi two months’ back pay, seven months’ pay in lieu of notice as well as interest and legal costs (less any money he made during the notice period).

Perhaps if Mr. Cardillo had taken my Respectful Workplace online course, he would have learned that you can’t be part of bullying and harassment in the workplace, without consequences.

To the average person, the time this case took to get a favourable judgment from a “bully” boss may not seem like justice, but Strizzi demonstrated much patience in carrying on when up against great odds.

What if we look beyond the “bullying” by Cardillo? What if he had legitimate concerns with the way Strizzi was running one of his fitness clubs? Doesn’t it make sense that he’d discuss his concerns in a reasonable fashion, where both men could work out their differences and try to make the fitness club more profitable? You would think so. One of the most interesting quotes from the judge shows how much he accepts that things can get heated in any workplace. He wrote: 

“Although disagreements, disappointment, criticism, disciplinary action and difficult – even heated – exchanges are common and expected aspects of employment relationships, and anger and frustration may be expressed at those times, employers do not have the right to harass, humiliate, belittle and berate employees as they go about their responsibility of managing and supervising them. They do not have the right to yell and swear at employees and call them ‘every name in the book.’ When employers carry matters to this extreme, they risk the employee reasonably concluding that continued employment is intolerable.”

What’s interesting about this quote is how far the judge concedes conflict can go before it has crossed the line. Many people might think the line was crossed before “harass, humiliate and belittle.” But regardless of exactly where the line is for each of us, we need to recognize that when conflict arises at work, people can’t always expect a tea party.

An argument, by its true meaning, involves people putting forward two (or more) views, in hopes of convincing the other person to come to their side or to some mutual resolution. It can be done logically and certainly passionately, but it can’t involve abuse.

The OLD NORM

• gets into all kinds of abusive conversations instead of talking rationally with people at work when there is conflict.
• will blame you for everything, regardless of whether it’s your fault or not, and certainly not take responsibility for mistakes.
• is passive-aggressive, lashing out over stupid, unrelated things, or giving you the “silent treatment.”
• will make you walk on egg-shells, where you fear anything you say or do will put you in his bad books.

The NEW NORM

• is considerate when dealing with conflict, frustration and arguments.
• isn’t devoid of anger or frustration or the potential to fly off the handle…but doing so will be out of character.
• realizes workplace conflict is inevitable but it doesn’t have to lead to bullying of any kind.
• allows people to put forward passionate arguments, and that’s not a bad thing – in fact it’s a good thing. Employees coming from different perspectives allow for great common resolutions.

01

Listen. If someone tells you that you’re a bully, listen. They might not say “bully” but they may be describing bad behaviour. Perhaps you’ll decide this person is just too sensitive and you don’t need to change a thing. Or perhaps you’ll hear something you’ve never heard before. The point is to listen and to find the truth. Ask someone you trust, not a “yes” person. Better to find out the truth before it ends up with dire consequences.

02

If you’re being bullied, talk to someone in charge. You might go to Human Resources or just a person who deals with workplace problems. And if nothing happens, then don’t stop there. Go to the top if necessary. Someone should care about losing good employees or going through an investigation or litigation: Find that person to stop the bully behaviour. 

03

Get out. If the owner of the company is a bully and he’s not open to change, get out. By all means, try to get him to change his ways, but if he won’t, you need to decide if it’s worthwhile staying in this job. And if your bully boss isn’t the owner, perhaps you can get a transfer. Life’s too short to work with a bully.

“Stephen Hammond’s book, ‘The New Norm’ is easy to follow and full of common sense. I loved the real case examples, older ones that stand the test of time and new ones that are relevant in the ever-changing landscape of the work environment. He categorizes behaviour as it was and as it should be - what every employer should strive for.”

Jackie Gruber, Human Rights and Conflict Management Officer

University of Manitoba