On the face of it, co-workers who date and get more serious than that, such as living together or getting married, is not a problem. As long as the relationship is truly mutual and there is no conflict of interest (such as one person reporting to the other), usually there’s no problem. After all, surveys show many people have life-long intimate relationships with people they meet at work. But what about the relationships that end? Or worse, those that end badly? If people can break up and carry on without (much) interference at work, there’s no problem. However, when these two people have trouble working with one another, or they poison the workplace for other people, with let’s say gossip or inappropriate intimate details, then you’ve got a problem on your hands.
TRY THIS:
Sit the two down – either separate or together (you judge what is best) and explain that you’re sorry about the way your relationship ended, however, it’s having a negative impact in the workplace. Somehow you two are going to have to work things out in a mature fashion, where you’re not making work life difficult for one another nor others at work. If they can’t work things out, you – or another person – will have to work things out for them. It will be their choice. wrong.
HOW ABOUT:
“I’m sorry that you and ___ broke up. Here at work, we didn’t interfere when you were dating, because you didn’t let it get in the way of your work. But now that you’ve broken up, it is getting in the way. You’re not robots. There are times where our personal lives have an impact on our work, such as we’re feeling sick, or we’re worried about loved ones, but those tend to be temporary problems. However, the issues you have with one another keep going on. You aren’t civil to one another and you both expect others to hear your stories, in what appears as a way of taking sides. It is very difficult on others and it’s interfering with our work, not just yours. I’m asking you to immediately speak with one another about how you’ll change things at work. Whatever feelings you have for one another can no longer show up at work. I expect you to get along. If you don’t, we can’t have one or both of you working here in the same fashion. However, I hope it doesn’t come to that and you can work things out. If you need any assistance, please talk to me.”
Stephen Hammond, B.A., J.D., CSP
If you have any questions, please contact Stephen
