So many times people are criticized for being “too thin skinned.” If someone can’t take the slightest comment of any kind, that can wear thin…and we often feel we can’t say anything in front of the person. However, there are some people who are “too thick skinned” where they can take any inappropriate comments or insults and these comments never bother them, or don’t seem to bother them. That might not be a problem because perhaps they’ll live longer than the rest of us. The problem in this situation of being “too” thick skinned, is when these same people believe that since they can take anything hurled at them, everyone else can put up with the same inappropriate comments or behaviours. What you want to get across is that while they can handle certain things, others shouldn’t have to.
TRY THIS:
When an incident takes place where they say “lighten up” or “that doesn’t bother me,” when it clearly bothers another person, or more than one person, you should explain that not everyone is willing or should be willing to take abuse. Explain that no one should take inappropriate comments, but if he chooses to (and you or others don’t hear about it – because you’d want to address those comments), that is his choice, but it’s not the standard we’re striving for in our workplace. Also get across that there is nothing wrong with the co-worker who isn’t willing to put up with abuse – so this person should not be made to feel as though they’ve done anything wrong.
HOW ABOUT:
“It is clear that you can take anything coming your way. I’d like to commend you on not getting bothered by comments that I would find insulting. Perhaps you’ll live longer than the rest of us who aren’t willing to put up with those comments. However, that isn’t the standard we are trying to achieve in our workplace. If others ask people at work to be more considerate in their communication, please don’t make them feel they have done anything wrong. They haven’t, however those insulting others are the ones doing something wrong and we’ll continue to correct such behaviour, even if you have no issue with it.”
Stephen Hammond, B.A., J.D., CSP
If you have any questions, please contact Stephen
