We’re all trying our best. I say that all the time, sometimes to others, and sometimes about something I’m being called on. As long as we don’t come from a place of hurt or bad intentions, we are usually just trying our best and can always be open to more education. There are many people I’ve worked with over the years who tell me they are afraid of saying most anything to someone who is different from them, perhaps gender, colour of skin, religion, sexual orientation or other differences. Perhaps there is no basis for it because they just heard rumours from a colleague, or perhaps they had a bad experience with just one person. Once bitten, twice shy. Unless a workplace will throw employees under the bus for innocent mistakes, hopefully you can tell people they shouldn’t be afraid of a complaint. Perhaps they can give thought to what they say, but you don’t want employees walking on egg shells.
TRY THIS:
Ask this person why they think a colleague would make a formal complaint just by talking to them. If the answer is that it’s happened in the past and the story seems reasonable and logical (i.e. believable) then you really should follow up. Unless that happens, if it’s just that there’s a rumour or too much information in the news about every “different” person making complaints, be rational. Explain that we’re all different and there’s no reason their colleague wants to stir things up. They come to work to be as successful as all of us do. Try to alleviate any fears...because often it’s the fears that are much greater than the reality.
HOW ABOUT:
“I haven’t experienced any strange behaviour from Darshan when I speak to him. We talk about work and our personal lives, without incident. From what you’ve told me, you’ve never experienced anything except pleasant interactions with him, so I’m guessing it’s just your fears. Perhaps you can tell me what makes you think something you’d say would be interpreted negatively and would lead to a complaint? If you’re concerned about innocently slipping up, we all make mistakes. Of course it’s important to not say anything you know is going to be inappropriate, but I think you’re smart enough to know that. If you’re not certain, you can always ask Darshan…he seems like a pretty reasonable guy.”
Stephen Hammond, B.A., J.D., CSP
If you have any questions, please contact Stephen
